Lessons Learned From the Bar Scene

I was reading a post by Kayla Gregory on Tuesday about Why the Bar Scene Sucks… During college, I spent two of my years bartending.  Because it was such good money, I probably logged more hours in the bar than I did in the classroom.  (Sad, but true.) But believe it or not, you can actually learn a lot from spending time in a bar…

People watching – There is no better place to study body language. Don’t be that creepy guy in the corner… but next time you’re out, start observing how people interact.  You can begin to tell how a conversation is going simply by watching the signs…

Let’s pretend a guy has been hitting on a girl.  How do you know if she’s into him?  There are a number of clues, like the way the girl brushes her hair.  If she brushes her hair to the side so that her neck is exposed to him, she’s interested.  Or if she constantly finds a way to touch his arm while she’s flirting… Girls are subtle like that.

Guys, on the other hand, are simple. If a guy is asking questions, acting like he’s listening, and isn’t paying attention to anyone else, he’s interested.

Judging character – If you walk in a see some hammered guy making a fool of himself, try not to be too hard on him.  He probably spent the last six hours tailgating for a football game… A lot of us have been there.

But if you go out for a drink or two with a new group of friends or coworkers, you can learn a lot about them.  Don’t base your entire impression off of this… but it’s a good place to start.  You’ll probably learn more about them in an hour at a bar than if you spent a entire day with them at the office.

Building confidence – Bars are the perfect place to build your confidence if you’re introverted.  You can try new ways of striking up conversations or practicing your elevator pitch.  If one pitch fails, who cares? You’ll probably never see the person again.

Learn new things – After a few drinks, a lot of people begin to open up.  If you love to learn from other people, what better time to bring up a heated topic?

For example, last week I met a couple I-Bankers (who were drowning their sorrows with shots of Patron.)  In a Ben Casnocha-like style, I immediately asked about their opinion of the bailout and everything that was happening on Wall Street.  That opened the flood gates for them to talk about their thoughts on the market, what their clients were doing right and wrong, and what they thought the future would look like.  It was like I got a free tutorial about the I-banking world… all for the price of a Captain and Coke.

You never know who you’ll meet – I spent my last night of a two month backpacking trip at a bar in Budapest.  I ran into a group of students who knew one of my friends at University of Iowa.  When I was in New Zealand I ran into someone who dated a one of my friend’s sister.  The world really is small… You never know who’s sitting next to you.

It’s about scenery - As Kayla mentioned, a lot of us are probably past the sloppy college bars… But whether you like college bars, classy bars, or even if you don’t drink… there’s a lot a bar can teach you about social interactions.

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