Social networking doesn’t build relationships
You know those people that – even after a long time apart – are still your best friend the moment you catch up with them? Last week I caught up with two friends who are just like that.
We got on the subject of Facebook. Ironically, neither of these friends use Facebook. They’re reasoning? Because if someone wants to get in touch with them, they’ll do it by phone or in person. They don’t need a website to keep in touch with their friends. (Which makes me think… if they WERE on Facebook, would I have called them?)
By no means am I saying to stop social networking… but they do raise an interesting point.
Have you noticed that some relationships aren’t what they used to be? When you chat with friends, it’s just that “surface” talk. How’s life? What’s new? How was your day?
Thanks to social networking, this seems to be common feeling for Gen Y. It’s just too easy to write a wall post saying “hey – how’s life?” versus taking the time to make a phone call or write a long email. Inevitably, you begin to lose touch with people…
But it doesn’t seem like it… because you just heard from them the other day. They responded to your wall post saying, “Life’s great! I’m doing ABC now. What about you?” And you respond with something like, “Oh I’ve got no complaints. I’m up to XYZ. It’s good to hear from you!”
And that’s it.
It’s funny… you’d think social media would enhance relationships instead of chip away at them. Social networking can be a powerful tool, but you’ve got to use it correctly.
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7 Responses
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So true. Great post!
I totally agree. The good news about social networking is it makes it possible to spread your conversation to more people.
Nothing beats a handwritten note or personal conversation though!
What an incredible opportunity to differentiate ourselves from the rest! Be the guy or gal who calls instead of writes on a wall. Be the one who engages in genuine conversation. You will soar above the rest and build true relationships. I think you are right – social networking has hurt relationship building. But the gap between good friends and great friends has widened because of it and it is now easier to move towards the ‘great’ side – all you have to do is do what we all used to do BEFORE social networking: pick up the phone! As Tyler said in the comment before me – social networking has made hand written notes that much more personal – because they know that you took the more difficult route instead of shooting them a message on Facebook. A great networker would use this trend that Andy pointed out as an opportunity to build more meaningful relationships by choosing to LIMIT ‘facebook-time’ and increase ‘face-time’. Great observation Andy.
It’s funny (and kind of sad) that it’s surprising to get a phone call from someone you haven’t talked with in a while.
Last week someone I met at a networking event followed up with me… but he followed up on the phone, which completely caught me off guard. That was the first time I’ve had someone follow up on the phone.
So true Andy… social networking really is more about the ‘social’ part of a relationship (i.e., party chitchat) vs. the depth of friendship building. As much as we advance technically, we still do need to take a step back and pay true – good old fashioned attention to those whom we want continued quality friendships with – Dale Carnegie would agree
Good post – look forward to more.
Robin Ogden
Andy – Agreed on most aspects of your post. But, what Social networking does is it fills in the gaps of conversations and keeps you in the loop with your friends and family. It does, and should, not replace face to face or on the phone contact.
@Pete – good point about social networking filling the gap.
It should be used as a crutch to lean on.